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Thread: Etiquette/opinion question :)

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    Etiquette/opinion question :)

    So... my cousin is getting married tomorrow. She's... 25 or 26 I think? Anyway, I wasn't invited to the wedding. She didn't invite any of her first cousins, which is kind of weird (because there's only 5 of us, and of the 5 of us, only 1 would bring a date, so it's only 6 extra people). But my mom and dad, and the rest of her aunts and uncles are invited. I think it's sort of weird we're not invited but I'm not super insulted because it's a fairly small wedding, and I'm not THAT close to her; especially in the past 5 years or so I've probably only seen her a few times. But she did write me a really nice graduation note and give me a present last year; and our family isn't that big so we're not super distant or anything.

    But my question is... would it be weird for me to write on her wall? Or, like... my other cousin, her sister, is 17 and I talk to her and see her more, and if/when she puts pictures of it up on Facebook, would it be weird for me to comment on them?

    I just don't know if it would put my cousin getting married, or her younger sister, in a weird position to be like "Thanks! Sorry I didn't invite you...." if I say she looked really pretty, it looked fun, I hope the wedding went well, etc.??

    I don't want her to think I don't care, but I don't want to put her in an awkward place where she'll feel bad for not inviting me or her other cousins, because obviously it's her choice and I'm not terribly offended so I don't want to make her feel guilty.

    Thoughts?
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    Last edited by Gretch; 02-17-2011 at 01:43 PM.

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    I think that if your cousin felt wicked bad or guilty, then she would have invited the first cousins. But, she opted for doing something small...so I don't think anything you say will really make her feel guilty, you know? As long as you write something positive and not "It sucks that I wasn't there, you dumb bitch!" then I don't see a problem whatsoever. I'm sure she'll appreciate the nice comment, especially if you tell her how pretty she looks, haha.
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    Last edited by Gretch; 02-17-2011 at 01:43 PM.

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    ^ @ "It sucks that I wasn't there, you dumb bitch!"

    But yeah, go for it and comment! I don't think it would be a big deal. Although, it is weird she did not invite the first cousins...?
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    Last edited by Gretch; 02-17-2011 at 01:44 PM.

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    Yeah I'd say just do it, it might be weirder if you just ignored the whole situation you know?
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    Last edited by Gretch; 02-17-2011 at 01:45 PM.

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    Last edited by Gretch; 02-17-2011 at 01:45 PM.

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    I think it would look a little rude if you just ignored the whole thing and didn't comment. After all, she probably didn't actually intend to snub anybody - even though the first cousins have every right to feel somewhat aggrieved.
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    Last edited by Gretch; 02-17-2011 at 01:45 PM.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Mike PP View Post
    I think that if your cousin felt wicked bad or guilty, then she would have invited the first cousins. But, she opted for doing something small...so I don't think anything you say will really make her feel guilty, you know? As long as you write something positive and not "It sucks that I wasn't there, you dumb bitch!" then I don't see a problem whatsoever. I'm sure she'll appreciate the nice comment, especially if you tell her how pretty she looks, haha.


    Oh my gosh, that killed me. Sorry for the delayed response... I've been working like a dog!! But thanks for the input everyone

    I just wrote on my cousin who got married's wall and on her sister's... just being like "I just saw some of my dad's pictures and you looked gorgeous, congrats!!!!". I think she's honeymooning and away from Facebook now anyway but we'll see.

    And my mom said there were only like 70 people at the wedding and my cousin didn't even WANT a wedding, she wanted to elope and my aunt basically made her have a wedding. So, I'm even less insulted now. But there are still kind of some weird tensions in my family with my dad's sister and her family... She's always perfectly nice to me when I see her but apparently she has kind of a thing against me and 2 of my other cousins because she thinks we used to tease and be mean to her younger daughter who was the maid of honor... so, I mean I hope that's not the reason us 5 first cousins weren't invited!
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    Last edited by Gretch; 02-17-2011 at 01:47 PM.

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